If October by Rachael Jones

One…

If October is like a child orange stained hands

Hours continuously scraping, digging, and carving

Creating an image with pumpkins,

Preparing for joyous celebrations,

Then may is like my yellow and green stained jeans

Countless hours rolling, sleeping, and playing

Within the fields of our childhood

Daydreaming of castles and faraway lands

Roaming those lands with you.

Earlier today I didn’t see a bend in the road

Nor notice the tall white poles with reflecting lights

The light was being blocked by trees,

Green over taking the land in every direction.

Not even the bark with its grooves and crevices could be seen

What I did see was the break in the land

A shinny sliver gate, that blocks my path

And that is where I would lay

Just to be near your name

Your place of rest

I look to the heaves and your light

Caresses my face, as you did when I was child

No more darkness, although I cannot see

Your rays wrap me in yours arms again,

Cuddling on the couch, no sounds, no lights.

I stare into the sky, a tear lumps in my eye

To leave a trail on my face.

Two…

I never thought life could be a dance

As a child I ran in my dress

Shoes flat to ground and still able to fall

Scared of the boys and cooties

Now as an adult I float and twirl around

My dress flows in every direction

My shoes now heels,

Give me the advantage to see new heights

I flow with the crowd

Like when you would teach me dance

And that boys didn’t have cooties.  

Believe me, what happened next

Also came to me as a surprise

I became the social outcast

Against the norm, to be naked

Tall and round, ashamed of the world.

The worst thing you could have said

“One day I must go, to leave,

To not return, you will be fine.

Dance and play and dream on my sweet girl”

I didn’t know that after May you would leave me.

These days I feel like

I would get lost with a map in hand

My path hidden by trees

Although my feet have left a trail

My destination worthless

My compass just spins.

Listen, for all persons make mistakes:

A child falls when walking

            He must simply rise again.

When I leave you now

            You will meet with Saint Peter later.

I may be gone

            But you must go on.

In October my love will return to me

By my side for nineteen years

He left me alone, lying by the wrong gate

Looking for answers within the light

I’m waiting for the days to pass

But it isn’t October and it is May

You are gone and cannot comfort me

From all my sorrows. A brisk breeze takes

Me back to our time exploring the lands.