A Calendar's Time by Kimberly Stutevoss

A Calendar's Time by Kimberly Stutevoss

Part I.

If October is like orange,
Then May is like pink.
Everywhere you go, all you see is orange
And every path you take is pink.
Orange, is the color of the old leaves
And pink is the color of the new petals.
Orange with the pumpkins,
Set out for Halloween
Pink for the ribbon
wrapped around the baskets you place
At neighbors doors.
Orange is the clothing you wrap yourself in tightly
And the stripes on the candy corn
You dress yourself in pink
To show a rebirth
If October is like orange,
Then May is like pink.

Earlier today I was jogging
Down the gray concrete road
Surrounded by tiny pink petals of May
Farther down the road
I noticed a biker with a blue shirt
And black shorts, pedaling down the road
I tried to follow him
Around the curve
But once I got around the curve
He wasn't there.
I never caught up to him
After the curve he disappeared.
I looked everywhere for him.
Behind the old brown gate
And into the forest filled with trees.
Was he even there?
Or a Halloween ghost I made up in my head.

And this too is what i saw
When I finished the curve,
A tall gray concrete cross
Standing above a rock
As I looked around I realized
where I ended up.
A graveyard.
It was old and abandoned
not many graves, just a few
Like place holders in the ground
It was starting to get dark
THe sun shined down upon the cross
Making it hard to see
I turned around and ran back
Keeping my mind occupied with old thoughts

Once in a dream
I was drowning
Under the bluest water
I tried to reach the surface
But something was stopping me,
My leg was caught on something.
When I looked to see what
I saw a clay statue grabbing on to me
Her eyes were closed
Yet her mouth was open in a smile
With air bubbles rising up
Frantic, I looked around trying to escape.
All around her were others,
Clay statues just standing at the bottom
Of the sea

Part II.

I never thought life could be so sweet
I remember with my friend's wedding
I watched a group of six children dance
Three boys and Three girls
They stood hand in hand
Attempting to dance like the grown ups
One couple looked to be having a blast
The girls arching back with a huge smile
Plastered on her face
While the boy looks longingly
Another couple the girl look frustrated
I think it was because the boy couldn't dance
And then in the corner sat another couple
A shy pair, who remained there

Believe me what happened next
Was a sight to see
I went to the hall
and there was a giant
I couldn't tell if it was art or a person
He sat there in the corner looking sad
Sitting on his butt
Elbows resting on his knees
With his face resting on his hands.
His eyes were filled with sadness
I continued to stare until I heard a song
Back at the reception of Cotton Eye Joe
Always one of Janet's favorites
I'm still not sure why

The worst thing you ever said to me
Was, that "I can't see you anymore."
I still question it everyday
What I could have done differently
Or should I have said more...

These days I feel like I'm bending backwards
Doing anything to please you
Every night feels like a performance
Always tiptoeing around the issues
Instead of communicating.
You bend me anyway you can,
But I can't do it anymore.
Why don't you try bending your back
For me once.
I'll bend you anyway I please
And when I'm done
You'll understand...

Listen!
Life is a game
Some people play it better
We start the same when we are born
But some just roll the better die.
I rolled a seven to begin with
And look at me now
Not too shabby.
But you see, you rolled a five.
There isn't much difference
Between the numbers,
But there is difference between our lives

Once in October
We went to the beach
It was to celebrate my brother's birthday
Aunts and Uncles,
Cousins and parents
We packed up the car and headed west.
Driving straight down the 101
Until we hit the salty blue sea
My brother in the very back
And grandpa in the front
Orchestrating the show tunes blasting from the radio
Grandma was sleeping
And I was sitting as I do
Looking out the window wondering
What my future will bring

But it is not October,
It is May.
Everywhere I go I see pink
Pink petals guarding the roads
Pink ribbons on neighbors doors
Pink is the sky
As the night is beginning
Shining down upon the grave
That I stumbled across.
Pink was a color in my dream
Of the dresses that the clay statues wore.
The color of the dresses the girls wore
And the colors of the flowers the boys gave them.
The color of the cheeks of the giant
And the color my eyes became when you told me
That we couldn't see each other anymore.
The color of my flowers
At my wedding day
And think back to whenever we fight
And the color of dice I got when I was born.
It was either pink or blue.
But I got pink, rolled a seven, and ended up here
On this day in May