Monday, April 29, 2013

Sassy Park Ranger by Peter Gidlund

Why couldn't I have been a lawyer or
doctor like my folks pleaded me to be?
I like nature, but all these people are
so irksome.  Isn't it common knowledge
that you can't smoke on the park grounds?  I am
supposed to tell him to stop, but he's yoked. 
I have to police these people somehow. 
"Excuse me, miss!  Yeah, I know it's Sunday,
yeah, there's still no fishing.  The lake doesn't
even have any wildlife in it. 
Well, that's nice that your dad's the senator,
but you still can't fish here.  There are no fish." 
"Excuse me, sir!  Yeah, your trumpeting is
disturbing others.  No, I don't know Chet
Baker and you are not allowed trumpet" 
"Excuse me Miss!  I'm not quite certain where
one would obtain a domesticated
monkey, but you are not allowed to walk
it in the park.  Please pick up after it." 
What is wrong with those woods?  It's like midnight
over there.  Has that always been that way? 
Why couldn't I have just been a teacher
or a historian, following in
the path of Michael Donaldson the Third?
I wish turkey legs were sold in the park.
Even a slice of pizza, or a scoop
of gelato would hit the spot.   
"Excuse me little girl, no dancing, no
skipping, no prancing about, no fun allowed.
Please keep it down, nature is for adults."
"Pardon me, find an ashtray for your pipe."
Where do these people come from?  They
look odd and bizarre, like from a painting.
These people are ruining the nature.

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