I.
If
October is like death then may is like life.
The
leaves losing their luster due to the sudden
drop
in temperature, and the days losing their light.
Trees
becoming weak and losing their strength
as
the wind blows through. The clusters of fire
that
were hanging on for dear life give way into
the
wind dance and fall to the ground only to
hear
the crunch underneath the boots.
Earlier
today, on my way to work, for the first time
the
road was clear. I never noticed that
at
the bend in the road beyond the trees is darkness;
the
unknown. The trees creating a basic front as if hiding
what
goes beyond. Driving by quickly with cars
honking
at you to go faster, you would assume
that
collaboratively, it is but a bunch of trees.
But
today, with only a biker on the road, I noticed
for
the first time, an actual space filled in with
the
night sky that could either pull me in
with
curiosity or push me away with fear.
An
area not ventured through, for others only see
the
trees and the road.
And
this too, following into the unknown
among
the trees to stumble upon a clearing. Stones
lined
in rows carved into particular shapes of
crosses,
rounded off squares and pillars. Weathered
down
were some, dark grey like the storm clouds.
But
it was the pristine white ones that caught my eye;
brand
new in this world, but old in ours.
Once
in a dream, through the clear waters were
people
frozen in time. Encapsulated by the earth
screaming
“we are here!” and yet I was the
only
one who saw them. Bubbles constantly escaping their
nostrils,
ears, and mouths; their one last sign of life.
New,
but their appearances weathered down
by
the waves.
II.
I
never thought life could be so short. Even at
our
ripe, young adult age, we are still children
in
the eyes of the earth. Twenty years is only two decades
compared
to the 2013 years of life being marked
in
our units. These milestones that we will encounter:
graduation,
parenthood, getting married
is
but us going back to the time of dress up.
Believe me, what happed next is just observation.
When analyzing art, the perspectives are
endless.
The human eye taking an image and making
an interpretation of abstraction in
order to make sense
of everything around them; a grasp on
life.
It is as easy to think of as it is to
change; for we
are so vulnerable to input and opinion.
We want
our own beliefs and feelings, but we
want acceptance
as well.
The worst thing she ever said to me was
“go.”
“Go, you are just like him.”
These days I’m like the performer. My
own show
being portrayed to many while trying to
balance my
performed life and my personal. No
matter what, both
need to play off in sync; but one false
move on
my end, and the show ends. Mistakes
cannot be made on
performing night, and there is no
rehearsal to work
them out. I need to go out there;
choreography, lines, tricks and
equipment ready on the fly.
A life of improvisation, running at a constant.
Listen, it does not matter where or what
you do,
but how open you are.
Once, in October, my walls began to
close. My dad,
grabbing his duffel bag and marching to
his car;
I ran after him to convince him
otherwise but,
even my constant pleading didn’t change
his mind
of leaving the life he was given
to one he chose. Slowly, my barriers in
life began to form
preventing me from living life
the way it was supposed to be.
But it is not October, it is May; a time
of life.
The buds taking full bloom
with no barriers in sight; a new
beginning.
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