Oregon Rain by Connor Deeks

Oregon Rain by Connor Deeks

 

When it down-pours outside I’m fine with it,

The streets gushing with Or-E-gon nature,

The gutters taking huge gulps of water

Quenching their thirst again and again and…

 

But that sprinkle, that god awful sprinkle,

You know it, the one that tickles the nose,

That rain that doesn’t call for a jacket

Or where you think to snag an umbrella,

But you are unpleasantly wet after

A short walk or a bike ride or a run.

 

I wish the sky would just make up its mind,

Rain buckets, cats and dogs, god’s mighty wrath.

Or forget the wet and the misery;

A cold dry day never hurt nobody.

 

But no, Oregon sits in the in-between,

And month after month we get this wetness,

This annoying dampness that never fades,

A condensation so disinterested

With being rain or shine, dry or wet,

That it maddens us Oregonians.

 

“Hey do you think it’s gonna rain today?”

“Nah, you’ll be fine, I’d wear a sweater, though,”

Good call on the sweater and the weather,

Now I get to swim through the dreadful wet,

I get to soak up that damn sprinkling,

Bask in the laughter of the Oregon sky

As it ever-so-slightly and lightly

Pisses all over me and my sweater

For the better part of the entire year.

God damnit do I hate that Oregon rain.