Remembering by Alyssa Abell

Remembering
  I wish I could rip out

the parts of my brain that remember you.

It does me no favors to see your face

Recalling how you tore apart our lives.

How could you be so sick and damned selfish
 made uto leave our home and fall apart

my brother grew up not knowing

the affection and strength he yearned for.

He turned to anger.

I watched my mother cry for days,

I thought it was all my disgusting fault,

I was ten years old, you son of a bitch.

I had to grow up with people asking,
 prying at my closed heart,

Where is your dad?
 Don’t you ever miss him?

I say no, I don’t have a dad.
 They look at me like I’m the one in the

wrong,
 but no, that’s you, and when they hear truth

Some abandon me and see me like dirt

Their Mother forgot to wipe off their shoes,

They scrub me off, I fade away.

Why am I the one who’s a mistake.

No, I am the one who had the childhood,

filled with counselors, doctors, and police

calling you into the office from class,

 who didn’t know how to answer their prodding,

 just wanted to vanish on the spot,

But they called  mom while she was retching,

And all she comes back to is sobbing.